Today is my 30th birthday! Woooot!!
In celebration of my milestone birthday, I’m here to announce my return to the blogging sphere! I have missed writing blog posts and sharing my enthusiasm for all things bookish with other fellow bookworms out there. But I shall confess that this break has done wonders for both my mental and emotional health, for which I’m very grateful.
Today as I celebrated a really fun and fantastic day of begetting, I ate some tiramisu and closed some very important chapters in my life. Over the past two years I have been recovering from some of the most traumatic emotional experiences that I have ever endured. I always believed that by holding on to them, it would make me strong and help validate the fact that I went through all of the shit that I went through. But after many weeks of contemplation and self-reflection, mostly in regards to my Depression, I came to recognise that letting go would be the best way to validate that negativity that I felt so attached to.
Holding on to pain and suffering does nothing but force you to relive all of the agony and hurt on a loop.
I acknowledge the things that happened to me. I’ve made my peace that there was nothing I could’ve done to change the way everything played out. If I’ve acquired anything positive from these terrible traumas, it is the understanding and appreciation that I’m a strong motherfucking human being, and I no longer have to bend to the will of those who disrespect me. You know what? After coming to this profound comprehension, I felt carefree. I felt weightless. I felt joy for the first time in months.
So, while I still battle Depression from day to day, I am in a much better place now. I’m fucking ready to conquer the world again. I’m going to put on my ridiculous birthday hat, drink my delicious YooHoo concoction, and be the best version of me; a version that does everything that makes me happy, and try all of things that I’ve been too chicken shit to try out. It’s time to start living.
My new journey begins with my return to book blogging.
Now, there will be a few changes to my blog, and only one of them is a major change. I hope that you guys will stick around regardless of this small evolutionary steps, but if you decide that I’m not the blogger for you afterwards, I shall respect your decision and wish you the very best that life has to offer you.
Firstly, I’m trying my hand at taking high-quality book photos. Photography is a hobby that I have been nurturing for the past year. I’m still amateur as fuck, but I would like hone my skills and (hopefully) one day become somewhat professional at it. Who knows? Maybe booktography can lead to other sorts of photography! What this means for my blog is that you can expect more photographic features on BiblioNyan. This can come in the form of me fangirling over how beautiful certain books are, creating bookish aesthetics that match a season or holiday, etc. etc. I did create a new Instagram account to commemorate this hobby, which you can check out here.
Secondly, I am taking a small break from writing anime reviews. There is only one reason behind this tiny vacation: I’m going through one of the worst anime watching ruts that I have ever been through, which is horrible given how many shows there are out there that I really wanted to see. This may be due to my ADHD being quite heightened over the past few weeks. I’m keeping my fingers crossed that this rut will disappear one day soon. This is NOT a permanent change, but I thought I should provide a head’s up for anyone who enjoys the anime content. They will return one day, please be patient with my rutness.
Lastly, I’m changing the way I write book reviews. This is the biggest change that I shall be making here on BiblioNyan. I will no longer be writing full, in-depth reviews for the books that I read. There are multiple reasons for why I ultimately decided to go forward with this change.
- Losing My Passion: When I read books, I mentally start to configure a list of how to discuss the book in a review. This prevents me from having a subjective response to the material that I’m reading. While this isn’t necessarily a bad thing, it’s not my cup of tea. I like to have deep-rooted personal connections to the novels that I dive into. I want it to be intimate, like a secret conversation in a small candle-lit room. The words and feelings exchanged are just between me and the title I’m absorbed in. This is my passion. I don’t want to lose it. I need my reading to be raw, candid, and connected.
- Stress, Anxiety, Sadness: When I write a full review that spans over 1,000 words, I’m putting my heart and soul into them. I try really hard not to let the numbers and stats affect me, but they do. When I put every ounce of my healthy being into these intricate and critical posts only to be insufficient where it counts, it’s such a fucking bummer. As a newly discovered carefree person, I really don’t want to care about the numbers any more. For that to happen, for me to embrace this notion wholeheartedly, I need to write reviews that fit what’s comfortable; what works for me mentally and emotionally.
- Book Community Let-Down: To be blunt, I wasn’t sure I wanted to include this specific reason in my post. I don’t want to ruffle any feathers, but I’ve always been straightforward and honest with you all, so no reason to stop doing that now. I’m so fucking disappointed with the bookish community lately. As book bloggers when we write reviews, they are very independent and personal. How Person A reacts to a book’s content is going to be vastly different than how Person B and Person C react. Attacking people for having a difference of opinion, putting them down and consistently insulting them, disrespecting them especially when they have been harmed by said book–all of this simply because you disagree, is immature, highly disrespectful, and utterly unnecessary; not to forget completely unprofessional. Because of this incessant need to hate on people for having an opposite reaction to something you may love, I have watched brilliant, passionately intelligent, important members of the book community turn away from blogging. These people had voices that were so powerful and necessary for positive changes within, not only the community, but within publishing and writing in general. It breaks my fucking heart, more so since quite a few of them were people I knew and care for deeply. If people cannot respect the subjectivity and individuality that makes book blogging and reviewing so wonderful, if people cannot respect diversity and boundaries, then I don’t want really want to partake.
So, no more full, critical reviews (in the most traditional sense) from me. My reviews are going to much, much shorter. There will be a synopsis and all relevant information about the book (author, title, series, etc.), then two sections superseding: stuff I liked, stuff I didn’t like. Keeping it short, sweet, and simple. They will also, more than likely, be multiple books within a post; think mini-reviews.
Alright, 1,200 words later, I think I’ve reached a good place to call it a night… Whoopsy…
I love blogging and writing, and I’m not ready to give it up indefinitely. But I also need to put my health–mental and physical–first and foremost. These changes are put into place to help complement that. I hope you’ll stick around with me. I’m excited to conjure up some fun bookish content, specifically where Asian literature is concerned. It’s going to be an awesome ride and I’d love your company on this new adventure.
Thank you for reading this long ass rant of “Woot, I’m old and I feel like blogging again!” My Inbox is always open if any of you feel the need to chat with me about anything I’ve mentioned here, or if you simply wanna drop by and say hello.
Thank you for being a part of this community, even if you’re just a reader. Please, remember to be kind and courteous to the people who create content.
Lots of us do it for free, and your support is what keeps us going forward. I’ll see y’all again very soon!