Being a moody reader can be amazing at times because I never know what journey I’ll be embarking on next. Will it be another world of cryptic messages all leading to a legendary treasure? Shall I be running and screaming for my life from the gruesome fingers of some crazed killer? Or will I be stepping into a land of magic and dragons? How about a faraway city of diverse people falling in love in the most unexpected of ways? This transition from one to the next completely different narrative is wonderfully enthralling.
Even with its benefits, however, it can also be a colossal pain in my arse, and an inexorably frustrating one too, particularly where readathons are concerned. A few weeks ago I chatted about the pros and cons of readathons, where I outlined that there are many perks to these bibliophilic events, however, they also come with their set of pitfalls. One of those things are burnouts, or just simply falling into slumps. With the start of July came a fantastic readathon that I had been awaiting forever without realising how much I needed something like it in my life. Yet, very shortly after kicking off, I fell into one the worst reading ruts I’ve had in a long time, probably since mid-2018.
I’m going to be blunt: this fucking sucks and has been so draining on me mentally that I ended up taking a self-care retreat for the past few days from pretty much everything that I love doing, including working (i.e.: blogging). I haven’t been able to read consistently and comfortably since around July 6th to 7th. Outlining even basic content ideas leave me feeling very burned out, especially since most of them pertain to books in some form or another. Watching anime has also proven slightly difficult because I know that if I become excited—negatively or positively—about whatever I’m watching, I’m going to want to talk about it on BiblioNyan, which means I’d have to create or write. It’s been a vicious fucking cycle, my chums.
Then yesterday while I was whining about this like a kid banned from consuming chocolaty delights, Sir Besty—whom I was whining too—casually mentioned that readathons clearly aren’t for me. Accepting that as reality should help me move right along. I kind of just stared at her for a while because the concept is so damn basic and makes the most sense. I was shocked I didn’t think of it first (best friends always think of the best solutions first and rather easily, don’t they?). Then I realised it probably didn’t occur to me because the whole notion of it makes me feel so sad. But the truth is the truth: I’ve outgrown readathons and they aren’t my cup o’ chai any longer. See appropriate sad gif below.
My mate, Aimal, created such a brilliant readathon and that was the biggest reason I didn’t want to give up on my reading. I wanted to support her and be a part of this community event. It even revolved around one of my favourite genres: adult fantasy. Yet, by pushing through my rut and ignoring how much my brain was suffering due to sheer stubbornness ended up costing me quite a bit mentally. Accepting my limits with readathons was such a difficult thing to do. I spent a whole week and a couple days coming to terms with it. But I miss working and reading and just doing the shtick I love to do.
I suck at readathons and I cannot do them any longer. They make me burn-the-fuck-out and fall into the deepest, darkest pits of slumping imaginable. So, I officially give up on the IronTomeAThon readathon. If I do partake in any readathons in the future, it’ll be the Dewey’s 24-Hour Readathon only. These are just short enough to not affect my mental bibliophilic fortitude and there are no restrictions or limitations to them that should create any kind of blocks. Apart from that, I’m positively finito with these gigs.
One of the things that blogging, and the consistent practise of self-care as well, has taught me over the past year or so is that if something isn’t working for me, it’s 100% okay for me to put it aside and move onto the next thing. I shouldn’t have to feel a sense of obligation to an activity, interest, or even person, if they aren’t bringing me joy in my life. If I can look at this thing in my life, which has been dubbed Thingmaster 1000 for the purposes of this post, and only make negative associations with it or ponder how much it’s causing me difficulties, and if it’s expungable, then I need to revaluate Thingmaster 1000’s involvement in my existence. Appropriate dissections must be made to remove Thingmaster 1000 from my life and then I can promptly move the fuck along.
Sometimes life is only as uncomfortable and complicated as we make it out to be. Easy and simple solutions can feel like cheating. Life isn’t worth it if we’re not suffering or facing some sort of grand challenge, right? WRONG! Easy and simple and even straight up lazy solutions are always welcome. Always, always, always welcome. Dealing with this readathon shtick has helped me recognise that concept and take comfort in knowing that the kick-back solutions are a gift that I’m always going to take without hesitation. Afterall, life can be a gargantuan tough-as-bollucks, kick-in-the-knickers all on its own without us adding more salt to it, am I right?
Anyway, that was my life lesson for the week. I’m glad that it was a rather painless one (when compared to other recent events) with a carefree resolution. I feel lighter and even a bit eager to crack open a fresh new book for the first time in a while! The more you know! 😉
Thank you for taking the time to visit me this morning. I hope you have a great day ahead!